It is something that you just can not explain to someone. What I do say to those that are curious is to close your eyes and imagine for just one minute losing that one person that you feel would be the most painful to you and then imagine feeling that pain for the rest of your life.
I have come to realize that this pain is felt very differently from parent to parent, woman versus man, parents versus siblings, grandparents, friends, etc. In the last 18 months I have met some wonderful people and have found that there is no right way to grieve the loss of a child. All that I know is that I am walking this difficult journey ever so slowly the only way that I know how… day by day. The only thing that I know for sure is that I wish that I could some how prevent any other family having to go through this heartbreaking process.