that are following the WWBD Memorial page know me enough to know that I am a very open book kind of person. I will open my heart to those that want to know the good, the bad and the ugly. This journey is one that I hope none of you have to become a part of.
So just a venting moment… I hate being judged on MY grief timeline.
From some people you hear things like “you would have to put me in a loony bin” or “I don’t know how you do it” or “you are sooo strong”. These are frustrating things to hear because I am not in a loony bin (even though there are days I feel I should be) and so I question if I am not grieving enough. “How am I doing what I am doing”… Not sure but I still struggle every day and do my best to put my best foot forward one step at a time. And “you are so strong”… Ugh it is so easy to put a mask on and take it home with me. I do not feel strong but know that I am not where I was 647 days ago… AND for me that’s being strong enough.
Then you have those that ask every chance they get “are you getting counseling” or “are you on any medications” or those that look at you when you cry and give you the look like you should be past all of this pain and should have moved on by now.
Just a question to all of you that have not lost a child “how long would it take for you to get past the grief of losing your child?” Please don’t answer… Just ponder.
I know that everyone means well… Sometimes it is harder to tell myself that it is ok because they haven’t been through this journey but today I became very upset with someone who was judging me to my face without even asking me how long it had been, how I was handling the the grief process, etc but coldly said many of the wrong things…I should have stopped her right then and there and asked her how she would be handling it and this point and time? Some days you just want to scream these things from the rooftops… I guess today Facebook is my rooftop!
I hope nobody minds the venting…
Miss and love you BriAnna