It has been 15 months since…

I was able to hold my Bri in my arms. I miss her laugh, her smile, her voice and her energy. She made our holidays bright and cheery. She loved celebrating and giving. She would wrap her gifts with love and would wear her smile so proudly. This year Randy, the boys and I spent our Christmas Eve morning together as we always do but very somberly. Our family time is what keeps me going… Their smiles and their laughter is something I can not get enough of… They are my glue! This Christmas was more emotional then last year… Our family just feels broken! Grief is an exhausting thing. I wear my mask pretty well but in fact in the inside I am trying to hold it together. My only wish this Christmas was to wake up from this nightmare and if it wasn’t a nightmare I was hoping a visit from heaven… A sign that she was with us. Unfortunately, I had neither! So all I can do is hope that my Bri is with us protecting and watching over our family….

*** To my sweet Bri:

Please know that my Christmas wish was to have you home. To have our lives back to normal. To hold you and to hear your laughter! I miss you my sweet girl. I hope you had a great Christmas with the other little ones up in the heavens!